How Do You Say "You" in Korean? (Usually, You Don't)
10-Second Answer
Korean doesn't have one neutral, all-purpose word for "you" the way English does. 너 (neo) is casual — only for close friends or people younger or lower-status than you. 당신 (dangsin) technically means "you," but it usually sounds either oddly formal, confrontational ("당신 뭐야?!"), or is reserved for spouses in old song lyrics. The real default: use the person's name, a title, a kinship term, or just drop the pronoun entirely.
너 (Neo): Only for the Inner Circle
너 is banmal — casual speech reserved for close friends, younger people, or children. Using it with a stranger, a coworker, or anyone older is a real misstep, not just a style choice.
너 어디 가?
neo eodi ga?
Where are you going?
Fine between close friends; jarring toward a stranger or elder.
당신 (Dangsin): Riskier Than It Looks
당신 looks like a safe, literal "you" in a dictionary, but in real speech it's oddly narrow. It shows up in arguments ("당신 뭐야?!" — "Who do you think you are?!"), in old romantic song lyrics between spouses, or in very formal writing — almost never as an everyday, neutral "you" to a person's face.
If you've studied Japanese, don't assume 당신 works like a safe default the way あなた sometimes can — in Korean it's much more situational and can easily sound off.
What Koreans Actually Say Instead
- Name + 씨 or 님 — the everyday default with peers, coworkers, and most adults, explained on the 님 vs 씨 page
- A title — 선생님, 사장님, 팀장님, and so on, tied to Korean honorifics
- A kinship term — 형/누나/오빠/언니 for people close in age, even with zero blood relation
- Nothing at all — Korean sentences work fine with the subject simply dropped, once context makes it obvious
Common Mistakes
Mistake #1 — Treating 당신 as a safe, neutral "you"
It isn't. In everyday conversation, 당신 more often signals conflict, deep formality, or spousal intimacy than plain politeness.
Mistake #2 — Using 너 with someone you just met
너 is banmal — reserve it for people you're already close with or clearly younger than you.
Mini Quiz
1. Why is 당신 risky as a default "you"?
2. What do Koreans usually say instead of a direct "you" with someone by name?
3. Is it grammatically fine to drop the subject pronoun in a Korean sentence?
Related Knowledge
Learn Next
Why Koreans Often Don't Know Their Friends' Spouses' Names
"You" avoidance is one piece of a bigger pattern — Koreans often skip personal names too, leaning on titles instead.
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Start today's study →Last updated: 2026-08-10 · Written and reviewed by a native Korean speaker.